The "I'm-too-lazy-to-think-of-a-title" post (34 weeks)

Well, it's six weeks to my due date; and whilst I am technically using my holiday hours up between now and Christmas, to all intents and purposes maternity leave has begun.  A is currently in Ireland for her sister's wedding and I am sitting in an empty flat, surrounded by newborn clothes and terry squares (not even born yet and all this washing!)

This week has passed by in that strange fashion of being both too fast and too slow, that anyone who has been in the position of 'use-your-holiday-hours-or-lose-them,' will be familiar with.  Days are mostly filled up with daily walks into town to stay limber (with lattes at the end, as a reward - decaf, of course) coming home to laundry and emails, wandering about the house doing nothing in particular and then in bed by 9:30 (mainly because I wake at 2am most days and can't get back to sleep)

At the start of the week, I was staying with my brothers whilst mum was at a wedding (so many in November) and I finally told them about the baby.  I arrived late to the house on the Thursday night and mum called my brothers into the front room saying there was something I would like to tell them.  When I said I wasn't sure where to start, my stepfather suggested I start where I was and go from there.  "About eight months, then?" I tried; immediately J, the older of the two, looked up at me with the beginnings of a grin.  M, I had to spell it out for, since he wasn't able to make the connection.  Like a number of children on the Autistic spectrum, M sometimes has difficulty with big changes but he took this news quite well, asking questions and thinking of activities he could do with his new niece once she's born.  J was obviously trying to play the cool teenager *insert eye-roll* but was actually quite attentive to me all weekend: sitting in the front room with me when he would usually skulk in his room, fetching drinks and snacks for me at regular intervals.  Lol, I called M over to feel baby kicking one evening, since he'd expressed an interest, and even though he didn't look up from his x-box game, J subtly shifted closer, just waiting for an invitation to take his turn.

My sister was with us for the weekend too.  She actually surprised me with the amount of interest she showed, not really being a baby person herself.  I think she may have bought up an entire branch of Mothercare, the number of vests, socks, muslins, and tiny two-piece outfits she presented me with on arrival.  She's always said that pregnant bellies freak her out (lol) but she seemed to be okay with my tiny bump.  I think it may have made a difference that I always turned away from her when baby's movements were becoming more visible and that because I've always taken care to stay hydrated and keep my skin moisturised*, I still don't have stretch marks.

At last appointment with the midwife, baby and I are both doing well.  My blood pressure is back up into 'normal' range, baby's heart rate is perfect and the fundus height (basically a measurement of the uterus, taken from top of the uterus to the pubic bone) is just right.  I was asked the usual questions for this stage of pregnancy: daily movement (oooh, yes!) swelling (nope) have we started a birth plan? (first draft done and it's getting reviewed regularly) anything else I'd like to talk about?
...Well, yes.  I've recently started wondering if the large itchy rash that I've been struggling with for the past month (that is slowly driving me crazy) could possibly be polymorphic eruption (some people may still know it as PUPPS)  Apparently, the midwife was stumped by that one.  She looked it up and agreed that it did sound like polymorphic eruption of pregnancy, which typically presents in the third trimester of first pregnancies, but that she'd never seen it before.  She says that if it's bothering me, I should talk to my GP about it. I'll see if I can get an appointment on Monday.
The last point we covered was that baby had not turned head down yet.  At this stage, it's not a big issue but the midwife says that if baby hasn't turned by our next appointment at the start of December, we will need to book in for a presentation scan to see what she's up to.  (I happen to know, based on her daily movements, that the little madam is still turning cartwheels in there; so it can't be obstruction.  She just doesn't feel like it yet.)

*in case you are interested btw, I've been using Cussons Mum and Me Bump Stretch Mark Cream twice daily, since week 20 - around the time my bump started to show and my skin first started getting dry and itchy.

Getting into the flow (24 weeks 6 days)

And wonder of wonders, we have a bump!

I discovered the evidence of an expanding tummy earlier this week.  Feeling hormonal from work stress and lack of sleep, I turned to A looking for love and sympathy.  Well, what I actually did was walk out of the bedroom, moaning "my zipper wont stay up.  I'm getting faaaatttt!"
And A - my wonderful, sensitive, loyal partner. The woman I plan to spend the rest of my days with and raise children with.  The love of my life - replied: "Don't complain.  You wanted a belly and now you have one."  Hands up.  Who can spot the clanger that set the hormonal pregnant lady off?
(For the record, A did later apologise and offer cheesecake in penance)
But to add insult to injury - later that day, the button holding up my trousers flew off and I was forced to suffer the indignity of asking the boss if he had a spare safety pin.

For the rest of the working week, I've had to make do with a pair of trousers from home that still fit me.  The maternity trousers our company provides are clearly designed by a man: they are basically regular size trousers with a ginormous non-elasticated waistband.  Even with the understanding that I'm going to get bigger, I think it's pretty clear by now that I'm never going to reach those proportions.  And even if I did, I would still want an elasticated waistband.
So far, it's only my work trousers that I have had to give up (thanks to a life-long preference for 'boys fit' clothes, I have plenty of room in most outfits) but as time marches on, I'm planning on buying belly bands to make my regular clothes last a bit longer.

In other news, we had an appointment with the midwife (W) on Tuesday.  We had to breeze through things as we had arrived late but we did get to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time.  We're starting to figure out that now she has full range of movement, she really doesn't like being spied on and will do everything she can to make it harder to check in on her.  The minute the Doppler hit my belly, she was twisting and turning cartwheels and kicking at the source of her frustration with everything she had.  We all had a laugh at how stubborn she could be.  Eventually, we got to hear a few moments of healthy heartbeat that satisfied W and left A and I in tears.
During that whistle-stop appointment, we had the usual urine and blood pressure checks, and W asked about fetal movement.  For the moment, all that is important is establishing that there is some daily movement, which we get plenty of.  Baby has recently graduated to hiccups, which means that she has started breathing and swallowing amniotic fluid in preparation for the outside world.  She gets them a lot and seems to blame me for them, as I get a tiny foot in my gut right after each one.  My blood pressure has changed from booking in: from 110/72 to 98/62, which is healthy but slightly low which may mean I'll be feeling light headed and/or dizzy and may lead to passing out.  This isn't a problem.  I've had periods of low blood pressure on account of my one kidney for as long as I can remember.  W (and mum) recommend I avoid taking long, warm baths on my own for a while (which is a shame, as it's something I've always enjoyed. Still, safety first.)
We also asked again about transferring to the birthing centre and were told that it would have to be reviewed further into third trimester (which is just around the corner!)

Ultrasound, sex reveal and update (21 weeks)

Well, it's been a year since our first insem and here we are: off the back of our second ultrasound with a healthy Baby Girl on board (the sonographer had trouble getting the perfect shot, as baby was being shy but we eventually got our view of those three little lines) We continue to have a relatively easy pregnancy and have started enjoying some of the perks: A being able to feel her kicks at 19w 6d as they become stronger and more frequent; and the friendly enquiries and fun we have as we begin to buy baby clothes and equipment.  We have been truly blessed this year.

I am now 21 weeks along and baby is roughly the size of a papaya.  I say 'roughly' because she currently measures a little under average for gestation - not that we're surprised.  Babies on my side of the family (especially girls) tend to be on the smaller side.  I'm still barely showing and have yet to give up any of my regular fitting clothes.  At the scan, baby was moving a lot; she must have been reacting to the ultrasound because it was an unusual hour for her.  One of the great things about this stage of pregnancy is that baby's periods of sleep and wakefulness are more regular.  We have been able to track her more wakeful periods quite easily now she is kicking and punching with more force.  She is most active just after breakfast, in the middle of the afternoon and somewhere around 2/3 in the morning (which apparently indicates that she's likely to be a night owl)

For the most part, this pregnancy has been treating us well and we've had few symptoms.  I have however noticed an increase in my stress levels that seem to be more hormone related than anything else.  Being more of an introvert, I've never been comfortable in crowds but as I've had years to develop coping tactics, it hasn't been an issue for a long time.  Now I've started struggling to cope with demands made on my time.  Five minutes of conversation can leave me feeling drained and close to tears.  A has been pretty understanding about my need for space but at the same time, I think she is having trouble adjusting to how quickly I snap when she is just trying to spend some time with me.  Hopefully, it gets easier with time.

I've been taking it easy these last couple weeks, after coming off my bike in traffic.  I landed pretty heavily and for the first ten minutes, I was so dizzy from the adrenalin that I could barely keep my head up.  The management team of the student letting office on the corner where it happened took me in and called the store for me to let them know what had happened.  They even arranged a rapid appointment with our health centre for me once they found out I was pregnant.  The doc who checked me out assured us (A had joined us after fetching me home from the offices) that everything checked out OK.  He said that because I was carrying small, baby was still tucked safely out of harms way in the pelvis.  Still, it was a relief to see her for ourselves at the scan later that week (she couldn't have chosen a worse time to suddenly go quiet)

We had our first baby related shopping spree this month.  We'd originally gone to the top end of town to get baby's scan pictures put onto a memory stick so that we could send them as a birthday greeting for my dad.  Whilst waiting, we browsed the charity shops in the area and found a newborn sleep-suit in near perfect condition for the price of a small coffee.
This does not mean to say that we intend to kit baby out exclusively in charity shop clothes; just that we have no qualms in using good quality used clothing whenever we find it.  Properly washed, it's no different to hand-me-down clothing from older siblings, it's possible to score branded clothing at a fraction of their original cost and it has the added benefits of re-using what could otherwise be going to landfill and contributing towards various local charities.  We've recently bought several outfits of different sizes for the first year that in total probably cost the same as two brand new ones from high-street stores.

Looks like the cat's out of the bag at work.

We'd not been planning to break the news at work for a couple more weeks to give us time to tell our nearest and dearest first (and my sister)

But when you work with food and you run out of a duty managers' meeting to throw up, you can either let the boss think you came to work sick or bite the bullet and tell him.  On the whole, it went down quite well. The boss seems supportive, so we'll have to see if that holds when I ask to start maternity leave just before Christmas (making three years on the go) We've been given an EDD of Jan 3 but I still have a gut feeling it will be late December and would rather be settled at home before the big day.

As for the family, we've already told both of my parents and their respective partners, my sister and a couple of A's siblings.  We're having to take it slowly with A's family. Whilst they accept in principal that she is gay and in a relationship with another woman, the culture in Peru is a bit more conservative than in the UK. LGBT families in Peru have a low profile and there is not much awareness/information available so it will take time for A's side to get their heads around the idea.  So far, we've only spoken with her sisters in Ireland and the U.S.A but as we get further along, we plan to Skype with other members of the family to share our news and answer any questions that may arise.  We trust it will all work out well in the end. Faith has gotten us this far, after all.

My parents took a week or two to get used to the idea - and I still don't think my father is going to pass beyond the vaguely positive stock phrases you use for a co-worker until after we have a gender confirmation - but my mother has built up steadily to grandparent overload.  She's already been out and bought 72 newborn size nappies and located every maternity/baby store in a ten mile radius.  It's kinda cool that I can now include info about my pregnancy symptoms in our daily text message exchanges and she will respond with sympathy, tips and memories from when she was carrying me (five babies, ranging almost twenty years and despite the early signs of dementia, she can still recall with absolute certainty that I was the only baby that didn't give her tomato cravings)

As for my sister, it was a little strained.  We haven't actually spoken since last April - or had anything civil to say to each other since the Christmas before that; but I sent a hesitant two line email anyway to let her know she was going to be an aunt.  She responded with the expected stock phrases and we left it at that. I've since been told that she and her husband won't be moving to Australia as they had planned this year, delaying until early January.  Looks like we will both be at mums house for Christmas.  Have to see how that goes.

Symptom-wise, we're not really sure what to expect from second trimester.  Around week 12, my morning sickness briefly increased (by week 13, I was vomiting more during each day than the first 12 weeks combined) This has thankfully passed and I'm now only tossing my cookies at offending odours (anything egg-y, spoiled meat and over ripe bananas) and when I try to eat too early. I've also started experiencing round ligament pains - which are a b*//h! (if you'll pardon my French.)  For those who haven't experienced this joy, allow me to explain.
As the uterus grows (by 15 weeks, it has usually grown from the size of an apple to slightly larger than a grapefruit) the ligaments that support it stretch and thicken causing discomfort (a word obviously chosen by male doctors)  I can't speak for everybody, but I experience it as a sharp pain running in a curving line from mid-abdomen to lower pelvis.  Most often, I've felt it when I cough but I also get it when I twist in bed looking for a better position. It's usually over quickly but I feel echoes of it, like a pulse, for a few minutes at a time.

This morning, A and I went for our 15 week appointment with W (midwife) It was nice that she remembered us (better than the blank looks we get from GPs who see us on a regular basis) Everything is progressing nicely and she's happy with my blood pressure, weight and everything else measurable.  We were thankfully able to confirm the abdominal pain I'd been experiencing as round ligament pain (because whilst we had a good idea of what it was, certain individuals telling me it was too early had made me a little nervous that it was something else)  When W asked if the consultant had been in touch, she seemed a little confused that we hadn't heard anything but not overly concerned.  She explained that a lot of them like to wait until after the screenings and first scans are out of the way (another way of saying they prefer to see if the pregnancy is fully established) but she was certain that she had written to him, as our note was longer than the two lines she usually puts in (she wants extra care taken with the kidney issues rife in our family)  W assures us that he should be in touch soon (get the feeling that may have something to do with the sudden scribbling on her to-do list)

Ultrasound (12 weeks)

Tuesday was our first Ultrasound and I can't begin to describe how amazing it felt to actually see little Felix on the monitor.

The midwife (W) marked in our yellow book (the pregnancy records that travel to every baby appointment with us) that we are hoping to deliver at the birthing suite close by to where we live. Since they will only accept low risk pregnancies, we will have to wait until we've passed our anomaly scan around the 20th week to know if they will be able to refer us. In the mean time, we are proceeding as for a delivery at the central suite.

So for our first scan, we hopped on the bikes and headed thirty minutes across the city for the antenatal clinic at the big hospital.  We were both tired, sleep being evasive in the weather we are currently having (we've since been looking into low energy floor fans to take the edge off the room at bed-time) and I was especially irritable because of an uncomfortably full bladder but all of that changed as soon as the image of our baby appeared on the screen set up for us.  Until that moment, I think because I've had so few symptoms, it has sometimes been hard to believe that I'm pregnant.  But to see that perfectly formed image, with tiny heart beating away...It seemed so real suddenly. A took my hand and together we looked at our little miracle.  Maybe I'm a little bias but I think Felix already has my mother's nose.

Booking in (10 weeks)

Yesterday was our booking in appointment.  The lady who saw us seems nice - which is what you'd expect from a community midwife :D She explained that whilst there were two midwives based at the health centre, she would hopefully be taking most of our appointments for continuity of care.
We went through the questionnaire on lifestyle, health and family history that I had been given at the time of booking and discussed how to proceed with regards to my family's strong predisposition to kidney disorders (6 incidents in 3 generations but doctors still insist it isn't genetic.) We agreed to review where we stood after the mid-term anomaly scan.
She scored some big points with us when she actually listened to what I was saying about my concerns regarding group B strep in our family.  Rather than giving me the party line about drugs given during labour to protect the baby, she acknowledged the worry I carry as a result of my baby sister's extreme prematurity and subsequent death.  I admit, I did feel a little better once it was clear she had heard what I was trying to say.

My height and weight were taken (I've apparently shrunk since the doctor last measured me, lolz) and blood pressure, all of which were fine.  Unfortunately, when the midwife (W) tried to draw blood for the basic screening tests we had agreed to, the vein she was trying to take it from collapsed.  I've always had good veins and this has never happened to me before.  It actually felt quite embarrassing, though I've no idea why (chalk it up to hormones.)
And speaking of hormones: the leaflets that went into the pregnancy information pack we were given included a breast feeding guide.  W asked us if we were thinking to breast feed and I answered that we planned to for as long as we were able.  I got quite teary at this and we had some giggles at my expense before we concluded by making our 15 week appointment (Yay!) and arranging for me to visit vampire nurse for the screenings (Boo!)

After that, we spent a very pleasant afternoon in town with a leisurely lunch at a restaurant we rarely allow ourselves and time shopping for little necessities.  And whilst it may be a little early in the game, I finally conceded to buying a maternity bra. Yes, I may need to invest again later but I have an active job and the girls need better support than they've been getting.  I only wish I had opened the pregnancy information pack whilst we were still in town, where we could have claimed our mum-to-be bounty pack.