After going through this post, I've realised that it really needs to be broken down further - such an eventful time of year :D This post is mainly about Christmas with the family and the next should hopefully bring us up to date.
Well, what a Christmas! We agreed this year that since A wanted to spend some time with her sister and I couldn't fly so close to term, we'd take our chances and have separate Christmases this year, with me travelling to spend time with my parents in Devon the day before A flew out to her sister's family in Ireland. My mother was especially excited to have a family Christmas this year, with baby so close to due and this being my sister's last year at home before emigrating; she had gone all out on decorating rooms, shopping for everyone's favourite food and planning meals over the festive week.
It was like the magical Christmases of my childhood - right down to the little foot-and-a-half tree I found in my room, lit up and waiting for me.
I received the call from my consultant the day after I arrived and immediately, the holiday felt ruined. Perhaps it was frustration at everything going down so close to my due date, perhaps it was the fact that it was happening whilst I was getting ready to enjoy a really special Christmas, perhaps it was just hormones; I cried for a solid hour after speaking with her - just contemplating having our baby girl arriving under such circumstances when everything had been going so well! I dragged myself out of the funk I was in that day by holding onto one thought: at 38 weeks, baby was fully developed, presenting head down and I was far enough away to keep them waiting on a potential induction whilst I took matters into my own hands. Long walks. Bouncing. Curries. Here we go! By Christmas, I was starting to feel more relaxed. I had plenty of time before I was expected back for another blood draw and my plan was going to work.
Christmas day started in the usual calm and casual manner our family prefers: a summons to my youngest brother's room to open my stocking with him, a brief gathering at the tree for a couple presents each and then breakfast. I've always had fond memories of gathering as a family for Christmas breakfast. Everyone gets involved setting table with the seasonal cloth and mats whilst the parents are dishing up cooked breakfasts for those who want it, filling bowls of cereal and heating up the pastries. Once my sister and I have finished ferrying things from kitchen to dining room and have coaxed the boys away from their current collective obsession (this year: rubix cubes) we sit to table and enjoy time together. My appetite wasn't brilliant that morning but for baby's sake, I managed a couple pastries with some tea.
After that, it was on and off present opening during the day, a few at a time interspersed with eating, movies, walking the dog and (for me) napping. Right now, I look back on this day and others like it from when I was small and two things stand out: Firstly, how much more fun you can have if you take your time on the day, instead of turning it into one big present opening frenzy before crashing for hours afterwards. I plan to follow through with this kind of structure when baby gets old enough to really get into Christmas; from the little token present the night before Christmas to the not-a-surprise-any-more-but-we'll-pretend last present before bed, including all the traditions I used to enjoy as a girl such as the family breakfast and heading out for a brisk walk before settling down for the evening.
The other thing is how wonderful it feels to be a part of a larger family at Christmas. There were seven of us gathered together on Christmas day (would have been eight, if A had been with us) and I know this was one of the things that made the day so special. It only made me more excited to imagine family Christmases in the future: A and I sitting comfortably together with our morning tea, two, three or -dare I hope?- more children, excitedly tearing into their little stockings, the smell of warm pastries drifting in from the kitchen....
Boxing day is usually a low-key day for us, spent tidying up the small piles of gifts that have accumulated in everyone's preferred corners, putting together anything that needs assembly, reading, talking, checking emails and watching the lunchtime movie. Sometimes extended family will stop by for an hour or so, to exchange gifts and catch up on family gossip. On these occasions, mum will lay out a buffet style lunch of leftover meats, salads, cheese, crackers and dips - the usual affair. The evening usually passes without much fanfare. This year was different. I felt different; tired but restless, hungry but not, wanting to be with people but developing a sudden aversion to the busy social hub that our living room had become. I had started getting backache and my Braxton Hicks contractions were starting to feel a little stronger.
By dinner time the next day, I was getting less comfortable as time went on and my mother and sister insisted on taking me to get checked out at our local A&E unit - they in turn sending me to the labour ward for assessment. That evening felt so surreal, sitting with a continuous monitor on baby and the regular beep of the blood pressure cuff taking a reading. I admit, it was a little exciting to think that baby was so close to putting in an appearance (although a part of me already knew that, with the contractions being more uncomfortable than painful and not quite regular, it wasn't actually labour) Once the midwife had discharged me and we had arrived home, mum was still watching me like a hawk. My sister made a point of asking us to come wake her if anything happened during the night and mum recommended she keep clothes by the bed, ready. I tried to remind them that prelabour (which I felt it was) could last for weeks and I was fairly sure nothing would happen that night but still - a part of me was picking up on their excitement. One week before my due date and it looked like everything was about to kick off.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, 7 January 2015
Saturday, 22 November 2014
The "I'm-too-lazy-to-think-of-a-title" post (34 weeks)
Well, it's six weeks to my due date; and whilst I am technically using my holiday hours up between now and Christmas, to all intents and purposes maternity leave has begun. A is currently in Ireland for her sister's wedding and I am sitting in an empty flat, surrounded by newborn clothes and terry squares (not even born yet and all this washing!)
This week has passed by in that strange fashion of being both too fast and too slow, that anyone who has been in the position of 'use-your-holiday-hours-or-lose-them,' will be familiar with. Days are mostly filled up with daily walks into town to stay limber (with lattes at the end, as a reward - decaf, of course) coming home to laundry and emails, wandering about the house doing nothing in particular and then in bed by 9:30 (mainly because I wake at 2am most days and can't get back to sleep)
At the start of the week, I was staying with my brothers whilst mum was at a wedding (so many in November) and I finally told them about the baby. I arrived late to the house on the Thursday night and mum called my brothers into the front room saying there was something I would like to tell them. When I said I wasn't sure where to start, my stepfather suggested I start where I was and go from there. "About eight months, then?" I tried; immediately J, the older of the two, looked up at me with the beginnings of a grin. M, I had to spell it out for, since he wasn't able to make the connection. Like a number of children on the Autistic spectrum, M sometimes has difficulty with big changes but he took this news quite well, asking questions and thinking of activities he could do with his new niece once she's born. J was obviously trying to play the cool teenager *insert eye-roll* but was actually quite attentive to me all weekend: sitting in the front room with me when he would usually skulk in his room, fetching drinks and snacks for me at regular intervals. Lol, I called M over to feel baby kicking one evening, since he'd expressed an interest, and even though he didn't look up from his x-box game, J subtly shifted closer, just waiting for an invitation to take his turn.
My sister was with us for the weekend too. She actually surprised me with the amount of interest she showed, not really being a baby person herself. I think she may have bought up an entire branch of Mothercare, the number of vests, socks, muslins, and tiny two-piece outfits she presented me with on arrival. She's always said that pregnant bellies freak her out (lol) but she seemed to be okay with my tiny bump. I think it may have made a difference that I always turned away from her when baby's movements were becoming more visible and that because I've always taken care to stay hydrated and keep my skin moisturised*, I still don't have stretch marks.
At last appointment with the midwife, baby and I are both doing well. My blood pressure is back up into 'normal' range, baby's heart rate is perfect and the fundus height (basically a measurement of the uterus, taken from top of the uterus to the pubic bone) is just right. I was asked the usual questions for this stage of pregnancy: daily movement (oooh, yes!) swelling (nope) have we started a birth plan? (first draft done and it's getting reviewed regularly) anything else I'd like to talk about?
...Well, yes. I've recently started wondering if the large itchy rash that I've been struggling with for the past month (that is slowly driving me crazy) could possibly be polymorphic eruption (some people may still know it as PUPPS) Apparently, the midwife was stumped by that one. She looked it up and agreed that it did sound like polymorphic eruption of pregnancy, which typically presents in the third trimester of first pregnancies, but that she'd never seen it before. She says that if it's bothering me, I should talk to my GP about it. I'll see if I can get an appointment on Monday.
The last point we covered was that baby had not turned head down yet. At this stage, it's not a big issue but the midwife says that if baby hasn't turned by our next appointment at the start of December, we will need to book in for a presentation scan to see what she's up to. (I happen to know, based on her daily movements, that the little madam is still turning cartwheels in there; so it can't be obstruction. She just doesn't feel like it yet.)
*in case you are interested btw, I've been using Cussons Mum and Me Bump Stretch Mark Cream twice daily, since week 20 - around the time my bump started to show and my skin first started getting dry and itchy.
This week has passed by in that strange fashion of being both too fast and too slow, that anyone who has been in the position of 'use-your-holiday-hours-or-lose-them,' will be familiar with. Days are mostly filled up with daily walks into town to stay limber (with lattes at the end, as a reward - decaf, of course) coming home to laundry and emails, wandering about the house doing nothing in particular and then in bed by 9:30 (mainly because I wake at 2am most days and can't get back to sleep)
At the start of the week, I was staying with my brothers whilst mum was at a wedding (so many in November) and I finally told them about the baby. I arrived late to the house on the Thursday night and mum called my brothers into the front room saying there was something I would like to tell them. When I said I wasn't sure where to start, my stepfather suggested I start where I was and go from there. "About eight months, then?" I tried; immediately J, the older of the two, looked up at me with the beginnings of a grin. M, I had to spell it out for, since he wasn't able to make the connection. Like a number of children on the Autistic spectrum, M sometimes has difficulty with big changes but he took this news quite well, asking questions and thinking of activities he could do with his new niece once she's born. J was obviously trying to play the cool teenager *insert eye-roll* but was actually quite attentive to me all weekend: sitting in the front room with me when he would usually skulk in his room, fetching drinks and snacks for me at regular intervals. Lol, I called M over to feel baby kicking one evening, since he'd expressed an interest, and even though he didn't look up from his x-box game, J subtly shifted closer, just waiting for an invitation to take his turn.
My sister was with us for the weekend too. She actually surprised me with the amount of interest she showed, not really being a baby person herself. I think she may have bought up an entire branch of Mothercare, the number of vests, socks, muslins, and tiny two-piece outfits she presented me with on arrival. She's always said that pregnant bellies freak her out (lol) but she seemed to be okay with my tiny bump. I think it may have made a difference that I always turned away from her when baby's movements were becoming more visible and that because I've always taken care to stay hydrated and keep my skin moisturised*, I still don't have stretch marks.
At last appointment with the midwife, baby and I are both doing well. My blood pressure is back up into 'normal' range, baby's heart rate is perfect and the fundus height (basically a measurement of the uterus, taken from top of the uterus to the pubic bone) is just right. I was asked the usual questions for this stage of pregnancy: daily movement (oooh, yes!) swelling (nope) have we started a birth plan? (first draft done and it's getting reviewed regularly) anything else I'd like to talk about?
...Well, yes. I've recently started wondering if the large itchy rash that I've been struggling with for the past month (that is slowly driving me crazy) could possibly be polymorphic eruption (some people may still know it as PUPPS) Apparently, the midwife was stumped by that one. She looked it up and agreed that it did sound like polymorphic eruption of pregnancy, which typically presents in the third trimester of first pregnancies, but that she'd never seen it before. She says that if it's bothering me, I should talk to my GP about it. I'll see if I can get an appointment on Monday.
The last point we covered was that baby had not turned head down yet. At this stage, it's not a big issue but the midwife says that if baby hasn't turned by our next appointment at the start of December, we will need to book in for a presentation scan to see what she's up to. (I happen to know, based on her daily movements, that the little madam is still turning cartwheels in there; so it can't be obstruction. She just doesn't feel like it yet.)
*in case you are interested btw, I've been using Cussons Mum and Me Bump Stretch Mark Cream twice daily, since week 20 - around the time my bump started to show and my skin first started getting dry and itchy.
Monday, 14 July 2014
Looks like the cat's out of the bag at work.
We'd not been planning to break the news at work for a couple more weeks to give us time to tell our nearest and dearest first (and my sister)
But when you work with food and you run out of a duty managers' meeting to throw up, you can either let the boss think you came to work sick or bite the bullet and tell him. On the whole, it went down quite well. The boss seems supportive, so we'll have to see if that holds when I ask to start maternity leave just before Christmas (making three years on the go) We've been given an EDD of Jan 3 but I still have a gut feeling it will be late December and would rather be settled at home before the big day.
As for the family, we've already told both of my parents and their respective partners, my sister and a couple of A's siblings. We're having to take it slowly with A's family. Whilst they accept in principal that she is gay and in a relationship with another woman, the culture in Peru is a bit more conservative than in the UK. LGBT families in Peru have a low profile and there is not much awareness/information available so it will take time for A's side to get their heads around the idea. So far, we've only spoken with her sisters in Ireland and the U.S.A but as we get further along, we plan to Skype with other members of the family to share our news and answer any questions that may arise. We trust it will all work out well in the end. Faith has gotten us this far, after all.
My parents took a week or two to get used to the idea - and I still don't think my father is going to pass beyond the vaguely positive stock phrases you use for a co-worker until after we have a gender confirmation - but my mother has built up steadily to grandparent overload. She's already been out and bought 72 newborn size nappies and located every maternity/baby store in a ten mile radius. It's kinda cool that I can now include info about my pregnancy symptoms in our daily text message exchanges and she will respond with sympathy, tips and memories from when she was carrying me (five babies, ranging almost twenty years and despite the early signs of dementia, she can still recall with absolute certainty that I was the only baby that didn't give her tomato cravings)
As for my sister, it was a little strained. We haven't actually spoken since last April - or had anything civil to say to each other since the Christmas before that; but I sent a hesitant two line email anyway to let her know she was going to be an aunt. She responded with the expected stock phrases and we left it at that. I've since been told that she and her husband won't be moving to Australia as they had planned this year, delaying until early January. Looks like we will both be at mums house for Christmas. Have to see how that goes.
Symptom-wise, we're not really sure what to expect from second trimester. Around week 12, my morning sickness briefly increased (by week 13, I was vomiting more during each day than the first 12 weeks combined) This has thankfully passed and I'm now only tossing my cookies at offending odours (anything egg-y, spoiled meat and over ripe bananas) and when I try to eat too early. I've also started experiencing round ligament pains - which are a b*//h! (if you'll pardon my French.) For those who haven't experienced this joy, allow me to explain.
As the uterus grows (by 15 weeks, it has usually grown from the size of an apple to slightly larger than a grapefruit) the ligaments that support it stretch and thicken causing discomfort (a word obviously chosen by male doctors) I can't speak for everybody, but I experience it as a sharp pain running in a curving line from mid-abdomen to lower pelvis. Most often, I've felt it when I cough but I also get it when I twist in bed looking for a better position. It's usually over quickly but I feel echoes of it, like a pulse, for a few minutes at a time.
This morning, A and I went for our 15 week appointment with W (midwife) It was nice that she remembered us (better than the blank looks we get from GPs who see us on a regular basis) Everything is progressing nicely and she's happy with my blood pressure, weight and everything else measurable. We were thankfully able to confirm the abdominal pain I'd been experiencing as round ligament pain (because whilst we had a good idea of what it was, certain individuals telling me it was too early had made me a little nervous that it was something else) When W asked if the consultant had been in touch, she seemed a little confused that we hadn't heard anything but not overly concerned. She explained that a lot of them like to wait until after the screenings and first scans are out of the way (another way of saying they prefer to see if the pregnancy is fully established) but she was certain that she had written to him, as our note was longer than the two lines she usually puts in (she wants extra care taken with the kidney issues rife in our family) W assures us that he should be in touch soon (get the feeling that may have something to do with the sudden scribbling on her to-do list)
We'd not been planning to break the news at work for a couple more weeks to give us time to tell our nearest and dearest first (and my sister)
But when you work with food and you run out of a duty managers' meeting to throw up, you can either let the boss think you came to work sick or bite the bullet and tell him. On the whole, it went down quite well. The boss seems supportive, so we'll have to see if that holds when I ask to start maternity leave just before Christmas (making three years on the go) We've been given an EDD of Jan 3 but I still have a gut feeling it will be late December and would rather be settled at home before the big day.
As for the family, we've already told both of my parents and their respective partners, my sister and a couple of A's siblings. We're having to take it slowly with A's family. Whilst they accept in principal that she is gay and in a relationship with another woman, the culture in Peru is a bit more conservative than in the UK. LGBT families in Peru have a low profile and there is not much awareness/information available so it will take time for A's side to get their heads around the idea. So far, we've only spoken with her sisters in Ireland and the U.S.A but as we get further along, we plan to Skype with other members of the family to share our news and answer any questions that may arise. We trust it will all work out well in the end. Faith has gotten us this far, after all.
My parents took a week or two to get used to the idea - and I still don't think my father is going to pass beyond the vaguely positive stock phrases you use for a co-worker until after we have a gender confirmation - but my mother has built up steadily to grandparent overload. She's already been out and bought 72 newborn size nappies and located every maternity/baby store in a ten mile radius. It's kinda cool that I can now include info about my pregnancy symptoms in our daily text message exchanges and she will respond with sympathy, tips and memories from when she was carrying me (five babies, ranging almost twenty years and despite the early signs of dementia, she can still recall with absolute certainty that I was the only baby that didn't give her tomato cravings)
As for my sister, it was a little strained. We haven't actually spoken since last April - or had anything civil to say to each other since the Christmas before that; but I sent a hesitant two line email anyway to let her know she was going to be an aunt. She responded with the expected stock phrases and we left it at that. I've since been told that she and her husband won't be moving to Australia as they had planned this year, delaying until early January. Looks like we will both be at mums house for Christmas. Have to see how that goes.
Symptom-wise, we're not really sure what to expect from second trimester. Around week 12, my morning sickness briefly increased (by week 13, I was vomiting more during each day than the first 12 weeks combined) This has thankfully passed and I'm now only tossing my cookies at offending odours (anything egg-y, spoiled meat and over ripe bananas) and when I try to eat too early. I've also started experiencing round ligament pains - which are a b*//h! (if you'll pardon my French.) For those who haven't experienced this joy, allow me to explain.
As the uterus grows (by 15 weeks, it has usually grown from the size of an apple to slightly larger than a grapefruit) the ligaments that support it stretch and thicken causing discomfort (a word obviously chosen by male doctors) I can't speak for everybody, but I experience it as a sharp pain running in a curving line from mid-abdomen to lower pelvis. Most often, I've felt it when I cough but I also get it when I twist in bed looking for a better position. It's usually over quickly but I feel echoes of it, like a pulse, for a few minutes at a time.
This morning, A and I went for our 15 week appointment with W (midwife) It was nice that she remembered us (better than the blank looks we get from GPs who see us on a regular basis) Everything is progressing nicely and she's happy with my blood pressure, weight and everything else measurable. We were thankfully able to confirm the abdominal pain I'd been experiencing as round ligament pain (because whilst we had a good idea of what it was, certain individuals telling me it was too early had made me a little nervous that it was something else) When W asked if the consultant had been in touch, she seemed a little confused that we hadn't heard anything but not overly concerned. She explained that a lot of them like to wait until after the screenings and first scans are out of the way (another way of saying they prefer to see if the pregnancy is fully established) but she was certain that she had written to him, as our note was longer than the two lines she usually puts in (she wants extra care taken with the kidney issues rife in our family) W assures us that he should be in touch soon (get the feeling that may have something to do with the sudden scribbling on her to-do list)
Sunday, 16 February 2014
Begining the home stretch
A belated happy valentines to those who celebrate ♥
A and I kept it low key this year in the interests of saving money for our various projects. We still made it a pleasant day, proving that it really doesn't matter how much you spend as long as there's love at the heart of it. On the day, I cooked us one of her favourite meals for lunch, made some cupcakes and cleaned the flat. I had just enough time to call R for a quick chat (because Valentines is about love of all kinds - even friendship) before A came home from work. Turns out, she'd saved some coupons and put aside a few pennies to take me out to dinner at a nice little restaurant down our street. So we had a great time of it.
Yesterday, one of my cousins announced the birth of their new baby son. It was a bit of a surprise, as we hadn't known she was pregnant but the pictures they posted on FB are gorgeous and we're looking forward to meeting the little lad.
In other news, both A and I have appointments for the next stage of our job applications, having received e-mails notifying us that we have been short-listed. A already works in the NHS, which is how we heard of the vacancies, and she already performs many similar duties, so we feel confident about her chances. One of A's supervisors heard of her application and seemed pretty supportive - if a little disappointed that A would no longer be working on her ward. I'm glad that A has one less thing to worry about, should she get the position she has applied for. I still haven't a clue how I would tell my line manager. Have to cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose.
This far into our tww and we're amazed at how long we've gone without obsessively plugging every twinge/craving/emotional moment into Google. I've had some aches and tenderness but we're choosing not to ascribe it to anything at the moment. We'll be testing on Thursday, which is coincidentally also interview day.
A and I kept it low key this year in the interests of saving money for our various projects. We still made it a pleasant day, proving that it really doesn't matter how much you spend as long as there's love at the heart of it. On the day, I cooked us one of her favourite meals for lunch, made some cupcakes and cleaned the flat. I had just enough time to call R for a quick chat (because Valentines is about love of all kinds - even friendship) before A came home from work. Turns out, she'd saved some coupons and put aside a few pennies to take me out to dinner at a nice little restaurant down our street. So we had a great time of it.
Yesterday, one of my cousins announced the birth of their new baby son. It was a bit of a surprise, as we hadn't known she was pregnant but the pictures they posted on FB are gorgeous and we're looking forward to meeting the little lad.
In other news, both A and I have appointments for the next stage of our job applications, having received e-mails notifying us that we have been short-listed. A already works in the NHS, which is how we heard of the vacancies, and she already performs many similar duties, so we feel confident about her chances. One of A's supervisors heard of her application and seemed pretty supportive - if a little disappointed that A would no longer be working on her ward. I'm glad that A has one less thing to worry about, should she get the position she has applied for. I still haven't a clue how I would tell my line manager. Have to cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose.
This far into our tww and we're amazed at how long we've gone without obsessively plugging every twinge/craving/emotional moment into Google. I've had some aches and tenderness but we're choosing not to ascribe it to anything at the moment. We'll be testing on Thursday, which is coincidentally also interview day.
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
(Part Two) The Holiday
Our much anticipated holiday went surprisingly well, considering how much pressure was riding on the first few hours after introductions were made.
Travelling was the first hurdle. Though A and I have always been close and communicate easily, traveling together seems to bring out the worst in us for some reason and long-haul flights with transfers wasn't something we were looking forward to. We managed to get a day to ourselves before traveling which gave us plenty of time to reconnect after a week of clashing schedules and to put into place our contingency plans for dealing with the inevitable tensions that would come up during the long journey ahead. Thankfully, we made it to Peru without incident: our flights were on time, our baggage was easy to re-check and we were able to locate our way around the large international airports with little difficulty.
As we entered arrivals, A's father came up to meet us and, I admit, I actually felt pretty nervous at that moment. Based on what I had been told about A's father, a conservative, traditional man, I had pictured...well, I'm not sure what I had pictured but it came as a pleasant surprise when he came right up to me and embraced me with a hearty sincerity. And so I came to know Peru. A slightly conservative country still, with a big heart. Everybody I was introduced to that day had a warm hug and kiss for me.
After breakfast, we started in on unpacking the suitcases in the room that was to be ours for the month. A explained that she used to share it with her younger sister and regaled me with stories from their mischievous teen years as we worked. It was a pleasant morning and after a while, some of the family came to keep us company. Her younger brother, who I had already met back when he was living in Spain, came in to tell us that he was getting married the following Saturday afternoon.
So the first week we were there was a flurry of organising for the wedding and A and I did very little exploring. There wasn't much need to stray far in the first few days anyway, with the market just around the corner and fresh cooked food available on almost every street corner. The food in Peru is a rich and satisfying cuisine with native dishes originating from the Incas as well as others influenced by Spain, Italy, China and Africa. A's mother is a great cook and continued to amaze us with traditional Peruvian dishes. She made papa a la huancaina several times during our visit, once she knew it was a particular favourite of mine. The day after we arrived, A's father went to visit his mother in the sierra for a week and on his return, proudly presented us with two fresh cuy (guinea pigs) which A's mother cooked and served to much fanfare (suffice it to say, it does not taste like chicken) There were some short excursions that week. We took in a couple of harbour boat tours and saw lima by night with a local tour bus company.
The wedding ceremony and reception were held in the restaurant next door to A's parents' house (which is space A's parents are renting out to the business) and lasted till after sunrise. A few days after the wedding, the new couple announced they were expecting. I got my period that evening, We had a low period at this point and this was probably a large influence on what happened next.
Whilst we were there, we had been looking at different areas of Lima with regards to moving to Peru in the future. Its a vibrant city and we found lots of positive points for each of the areas we considered; Miraflores, for example, has a large ex-pat population and would be a great place to set up a little English style cafe (quite easy to do with how informal things are there) although it´s also the ´tourist´ area of the city and so the most expensive. Barranco is probably our favourite area; the architecture and parks are beautiful. Not to mention that it´s a stone´s throw from the beach. A few days after the wedding, just before Christmas, A's father took us to view the land he's building a house on. It's right by the sea with beautiful views of the surrounding hills and an expressway just a few streets away. A and I enquired how much it was for a plot on the other side of the industrial park and well...we bought a plot.
Because everything is so informal there, we had to pay cash for the land, notary, etc and A's parents helped us with a cash loan. The plot we chose is in the middle of a street and almost the highest row on the side of a tall hill. We are in love with the location. Behind us, there's a road, a row more of houses and then it gives way to trees and the higher slopes. We can't wait to start building. The area is more advanced than where her father's plot is located - water is already available and we hope to have access to electricity within the first year - and the best part is we are also lucky enough to have A's father around to help, both with labour and contacts, as he is a builder by trade.
So this year, we'll be saving hard to pay A's parents back and to start building work when we move. To this end, A and I have been taking a serious look at our finances. We've both applied for jobs where we stand to increase our income and I'm investigating piece work in the area. It's all go this year and the effort will be worth it; not only does it give us something else to focus on but it also gives me a way out from the job that seems to generate it's own stress and back luck on a daily basis, which can't be good for TTC. This is part one of our Resolutions for 2014.
Part two is diet. Whilst ours aren't especially bad, there is still room for improvement. A and I have made separate specific resolutions in this area. Mine are to give up chocolate and reduce the number of times a week I skip meals. Both are fertility necessities that I've struggled to keep to before. I brushed up on Low Gi foods after the PCO diagnosis and stopped keeping guilty treats in my locker at work but due to the demands of shift work, I have found it difficult to stop and eat a regular meal whilst I am at work. The treats have started sneaking back into my diet. A normal evening shift for me usually involves biscuits snatched from a pack I keep on the desk as I fly past, in lieu of breaks. The salt intake alone is wreaking havoc on my attempts to maintain a decent weight. In the last couple of weeks though, I've implemented a do-not-disturb policy on my break times, managing to get in a good twenty minutes to eat before something pressing comes up. And whilst I haven't had a chocolate free week yet, due to the products already in our cupboards when we got home, the intake has been reduced to bare minimum and once it's finished (which will be soon) I will be going without *sigh*
And there it is. The Grand Venture 2014
Travelling was the first hurdle. Though A and I have always been close and communicate easily, traveling together seems to bring out the worst in us for some reason and long-haul flights with transfers wasn't something we were looking forward to. We managed to get a day to ourselves before traveling which gave us plenty of time to reconnect after a week of clashing schedules and to put into place our contingency plans for dealing with the inevitable tensions that would come up during the long journey ahead. Thankfully, we made it to Peru without incident: our flights were on time, our baggage was easy to re-check and we were able to locate our way around the large international airports with little difficulty.
As we entered arrivals, A's father came up to meet us and, I admit, I actually felt pretty nervous at that moment. Based on what I had been told about A's father, a conservative, traditional man, I had pictured...well, I'm not sure what I had pictured but it came as a pleasant surprise when he came right up to me and embraced me with a hearty sincerity. And so I came to know Peru. A slightly conservative country still, with a big heart. Everybody I was introduced to that day had a warm hug and kiss for me.
After breakfast, we started in on unpacking the suitcases in the room that was to be ours for the month. A explained that she used to share it with her younger sister and regaled me with stories from their mischievous teen years as we worked. It was a pleasant morning and after a while, some of the family came to keep us company. Her younger brother, who I had already met back when he was living in Spain, came in to tell us that he was getting married the following Saturday afternoon.
So the first week we were there was a flurry of organising for the wedding and A and I did very little exploring. There wasn't much need to stray far in the first few days anyway, with the market just around the corner and fresh cooked food available on almost every street corner. The food in Peru is a rich and satisfying cuisine with native dishes originating from the Incas as well as others influenced by Spain, Italy, China and Africa. A's mother is a great cook and continued to amaze us with traditional Peruvian dishes. She made papa a la huancaina several times during our visit, once she knew it was a particular favourite of mine. The day after we arrived, A's father went to visit his mother in the sierra for a week and on his return, proudly presented us with two fresh cuy (guinea pigs) which A's mother cooked and served to much fanfare (suffice it to say, it does not taste like chicken) There were some short excursions that week. We took in a couple of harbour boat tours and saw lima by night with a local tour bus company.
The wedding ceremony and reception were held in the restaurant next door to A's parents' house (which is space A's parents are renting out to the business) and lasted till after sunrise. A few days after the wedding, the new couple announced they were expecting. I got my period that evening, We had a low period at this point and this was probably a large influence on what happened next.
Whilst we were there, we had been looking at different areas of Lima with regards to moving to Peru in the future. Its a vibrant city and we found lots of positive points for each of the areas we considered; Miraflores, for example, has a large ex-pat population and would be a great place to set up a little English style cafe (quite easy to do with how informal things are there) although it´s also the ´tourist´ area of the city and so the most expensive. Barranco is probably our favourite area; the architecture and parks are beautiful. Not to mention that it´s a stone´s throw from the beach. A few days after the wedding, just before Christmas, A's father took us to view the land he's building a house on. It's right by the sea with beautiful views of the surrounding hills and an expressway just a few streets away. A and I enquired how much it was for a plot on the other side of the industrial park and well...we bought a plot.
Because everything is so informal there, we had to pay cash for the land, notary, etc and A's parents helped us with a cash loan. The plot we chose is in the middle of a street and almost the highest row on the side of a tall hill. We are in love with the location. Behind us, there's a road, a row more of houses and then it gives way to trees and the higher slopes. We can't wait to start building. The area is more advanced than where her father's plot is located - water is already available and we hope to have access to electricity within the first year - and the best part is we are also lucky enough to have A's father around to help, both with labour and contacts, as he is a builder by trade.
So this year, we'll be saving hard to pay A's parents back and to start building work when we move. To this end, A and I have been taking a serious look at our finances. We've both applied for jobs where we stand to increase our income and I'm investigating piece work in the area. It's all go this year and the effort will be worth it; not only does it give us something else to focus on but it also gives me a way out from the job that seems to generate it's own stress and back luck on a daily basis, which can't be good for TTC. This is part one of our Resolutions for 2014.
Part two is diet. Whilst ours aren't especially bad, there is still room for improvement. A and I have made separate specific resolutions in this area. Mine are to give up chocolate and reduce the number of times a week I skip meals. Both are fertility necessities that I've struggled to keep to before. I brushed up on Low Gi foods after the PCO diagnosis and stopped keeping guilty treats in my locker at work but due to the demands of shift work, I have found it difficult to stop and eat a regular meal whilst I am at work. The treats have started sneaking back into my diet. A normal evening shift for me usually involves biscuits snatched from a pack I keep on the desk as I fly past, in lieu of breaks. The salt intake alone is wreaking havoc on my attempts to maintain a decent weight. In the last couple of weeks though, I've implemented a do-not-disturb policy on my break times, managing to get in a good twenty minutes to eat before something pressing comes up. And whilst I haven't had a chocolate free week yet, due to the products already in our cupboards when we got home, the intake has been reduced to bare minimum and once it's finished (which will be soon) I will be going without *sigh*
And there it is. The Grand Venture 2014
Thursday, 21 November 2013
10 days down...
It's a little over halfway through the two weeks wait and we've succeeded in keeping ourselves occupied.
At the weekend, we visited A's sister (who is now officially two weeks overdue.) As is traditional for us whenever we fly abroad, it started with a near-tears moment of stress. We had made it as far as the check-in desk when I realised that my printed boarding pass was in fact paperwork for our Peruvian Christmas. Ryan air is really strict about having your boarding pass with you when you check in. It was either pay £70 (twice what the ticket cost) to have a new one printed or call the new lodger and ask him to drive across the city with less than an hour to spare. In the end, we appealed to the young assistant manning the customer service desk. We got our boarding pass printed on the sly and then after all that excitement, headed for Starbucks - where, I regret to say, I succumbed to the siren call of caffeine. It wasn't the last time that weekend that we broke our pact to reduce caffeine, either.
We were only there for a day and two nights but it was nice to be spending time with family. They even took us out to a nice bar on Saturday night (my virgin mojito was made with lemonade, which I hadn't tried before. It was pretty good)
I've been trying to reduce my stress levels recently, after a friend pointed out that I was having some pretty near-miss catastrophes at work from being too distracted by other stresses (To be fair, that's more to do with the fact that our store breeds stress. On Monday for example, a cage of frozen delivery didn't get put away within it's allocated time and we lost nearly £100 of ice-cream - guess who had to answer for that) I'll admit that I may be wound a little tightly at the moment. Maybe it's that I'm aware of this try being the last until after the new year and I know it wasn't much of a pitch. Maybe it's that we're getting closer to our Peru holiday and I'm getting nervous about meeting A's parents - given that I'm the first girlfriend they've met (that they know of) - whilst they're still wrapping their heads around the idea that their daughter is gay. I don't know. I just know that on Tuesday, I was so wound up that I messed up making macaroni, resorting to straining the roux where I hadn't had to in years. I had a good cry over that; then pulled myself together before A came home. I even managed a giggle, as thoughts came to me of how close we had come to re-creating the scene from the 'Little Women' sequel, 'Good Wives,' in which poor John arrives home with company, unaware that his loving and dutiful wife has made a real wreck of the kitchen trying to make jam and is ready to blast anyone who dares ask how her day went.
And last night, we had a room change around. The new carpets that we have been bugging the landlord about finally arrived whilst I was at work. When I arrived home, A and vecina had switched furniture between the living room and the lodgers' room. So now they have the bigger room but we have a private living room - which is better all round as I think all parties were starting to feel the strain of sharing that space.
A new wardrobe that we had arranged for the lodgers came a few hours afterwards but it had to be sent back, as it didn't so much resemble a wardrobe as a large box. The fixtures were all missing. There was a solution though(!) When the alternative arrived, I had taken refuge in our new living room (which at this point still resembles a rubbish tip) and I could hear the guys trying to manoeuvre the wardrobe up the stairs from halfway across the flat. A told me later that it was clearly too big for the narrow stairway that leads up to our flat. Did that stop four grown men from trying though? This falls under the category of 'you can't tell men nuthin.' After ten minutes of trying(!), they decided between them that the best course of action was to take it apart and re-assemble it in the room.
Today is, thankfully, a day off. I had all weekend off, Tuesday off and a (slightly) less stressful daytime shift yesterday but I am still ridiculously grateful for a whole day to unwind. Between the mild nausea, cramps and breast tenderness coming on we can either expect a positive test next week or a particularly unpleasant period.
At the weekend, we visited A's sister (who is now officially two weeks overdue.) As is traditional for us whenever we fly abroad, it started with a near-tears moment of stress. We had made it as far as the check-in desk when I realised that my printed boarding pass was in fact paperwork for our Peruvian Christmas. Ryan air is really strict about having your boarding pass with you when you check in. It was either pay £70 (twice what the ticket cost) to have a new one printed or call the new lodger and ask him to drive across the city with less than an hour to spare. In the end, we appealed to the young assistant manning the customer service desk. We got our boarding pass printed on the sly and then after all that excitement, headed for Starbucks - where, I regret to say, I succumbed to the siren call of caffeine. It wasn't the last time that weekend that we broke our pact to reduce caffeine, either.
We were only there for a day and two nights but it was nice to be spending time with family. They even took us out to a nice bar on Saturday night (my virgin mojito was made with lemonade, which I hadn't tried before. It was pretty good)
I've been trying to reduce my stress levels recently, after a friend pointed out that I was having some pretty near-miss catastrophes at work from being too distracted by other stresses (To be fair, that's more to do with the fact that our store breeds stress. On Monday for example, a cage of frozen delivery didn't get put away within it's allocated time and we lost nearly £100 of ice-cream - guess who had to answer for that) I'll admit that I may be wound a little tightly at the moment. Maybe it's that I'm aware of this try being the last until after the new year and I know it wasn't much of a pitch. Maybe it's that we're getting closer to our Peru holiday and I'm getting nervous about meeting A's parents - given that I'm the first girlfriend they've met (that they know of) - whilst they're still wrapping their heads around the idea that their daughter is gay. I don't know. I just know that on Tuesday, I was so wound up that I messed up making macaroni, resorting to straining the roux where I hadn't had to in years. I had a good cry over that; then pulled myself together before A came home. I even managed a giggle, as thoughts came to me of how close we had come to re-creating the scene from the 'Little Women' sequel, 'Good Wives,' in which poor John arrives home with company, unaware that his loving and dutiful wife has made a real wreck of the kitchen trying to make jam and is ready to blast anyone who dares ask how her day went.
And last night, we had a room change around. The new carpets that we have been bugging the landlord about finally arrived whilst I was at work. When I arrived home, A and vecina had switched furniture between the living room and the lodgers' room. So now they have the bigger room but we have a private living room - which is better all round as I think all parties were starting to feel the strain of sharing that space.
A new wardrobe that we had arranged for the lodgers came a few hours afterwards but it had to be sent back, as it didn't so much resemble a wardrobe as a large box. The fixtures were all missing. There was a solution though(!) When the alternative arrived, I had taken refuge in our new living room (which at this point still resembles a rubbish tip) and I could hear the guys trying to manoeuvre the wardrobe up the stairs from halfway across the flat. A told me later that it was clearly too big for the narrow stairway that leads up to our flat. Did that stop four grown men from trying though? This falls under the category of 'you can't tell men nuthin.' After ten minutes of trying(!), they decided between them that the best course of action was to take it apart and re-assemble it in the room.
Today is, thankfully, a day off. I had all weekend off, Tuesday off and a (slightly) less stressful daytime shift yesterday but I am still ridiculously grateful for a whole day to unwind. Between the mild nausea, cramps and breast tenderness coming on we can either expect a positive test next week or a particularly unpleasant period.
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Wishing and hoping and praying
Due to Scheduling conflicts, we missed this cycle's O date.
Along with monitoring basal body temperature (bbt) and cervical mucus (cm) we've been using ovulation test sticks from around day ten of my cycle. This cycle, there was no faint build up to the results line; one day the window was blank, the next it was a strong line. R, the donor, and I have some pretty tight schedules this week but he's going to try to meet us at the flat tomorrow. It seems a little like locking the barn door and all that...but at least it's a try. For me, at least, the cycles we don't get to try hurt that little bit more than the negatives. Now we just have to figure out how to distract the new lodgers from the length of time R is spending in the bathroom. We've also been in contact with the group who cast our fertility spell at the start of summer to arrange a re-casting and hopefully a boost for our last try of the year (We'll be abroad for a month over Christmas and New Year, so we'll be skipping the December cycle and possibly January, depending on timing)
Things are a little sensitive at home with the impending birth of our nephew (A's sister's due date is this week) Either way, we will be visiting next weekend. A couple days in Ireland will be a pleasant change of scenery and maybe a nice distraction during the TWW - if we pull it off tomorrow.
Along with monitoring basal body temperature (bbt) and cervical mucus (cm) we've been using ovulation test sticks from around day ten of my cycle. This cycle, there was no faint build up to the results line; one day the window was blank, the next it was a strong line. R, the donor, and I have some pretty tight schedules this week but he's going to try to meet us at the flat tomorrow. It seems a little like locking the barn door and all that...but at least it's a try. For me, at least, the cycles we don't get to try hurt that little bit more than the negatives. Now we just have to figure out how to distract the new lodgers from the length of time R is spending in the bathroom. We've also been in contact with the group who cast our fertility spell at the start of summer to arrange a re-casting and hopefully a boost for our last try of the year (We'll be abroad for a month over Christmas and New Year, so we'll be skipping the December cycle and possibly January, depending on timing)
Things are a little sensitive at home with the impending birth of our nephew (A's sister's due date is this week) Either way, we will be visiting next weekend. A couple days in Ireland will be a pleasant change of scenery and maybe a nice distraction during the TWW - if we pull it off tomorrow.
Sunday, 13 January 2013
Happy holidays!
Christmas and new year with the family went well, despite a rough start.
Following an argument with my sister on Christmas eve - and I'm not going to get into that right now - A and I left for Spain feeling disappointed that something had happened to dampen our mood before we'd even reached the airport, for a holiday we'd been planning and looking forward to for months. Still, we had a hot drink at the airport and decided that we were just going to enjoy our holiday and use the time to unwind from the stresses of the last few months instead of brooding.
I admit, I did have to excuse myself the first time I saw A holding the new baby. I'd been fine when her brother and sister-in-law presented little S but the sight of my partner holding her brought tears to my eyes and I had to escape to the bathroom quickly. For the rest of the holiday though, I had no trouble interacting with the baby. I put it down to hormones and a tiring trip out.
And there's good news: our potential kd is now our official kd. We didn't want to say anything earlier in-case we jinxed it but the kd is a relative of A's. I, in particular, am excited about the implications of this. Yes, it means that we likely wont be able to try every cycle, as he lives abroad but the idea that our baby will have both my and A's genes is so wonderful that we are prepared to go longer between attempts. I'm feeling positive about this. I'm choosing to believe that since my pco symptoms are pretty mild, it may be that the metformin will do the trick relatively quickly (yes, I said relatively. I know it will still take a while)
The next steps are meeting with Dr. D to discuss putting me on metformin, arranging well-timed holidays with kd and ... oh yes, the wedding in May :D
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