Thoughts

It's so surreal.

We've been trying for a while to get pregnant and yet, it was still a complete surprise when the indicator flashed up 'Pregnant' - even after the previous positive (a picture of which is now the screensaver on my laptop)  After we got the results, we laughed, we hugged and then we didn't quite know what else to do.  We sat talking about mundane things: the shifts we were working, our dinner plans; all the while, we kept exchanging excited looks and glancing over at the test stick, where it sat on our side table among tea cups, newspapers and discarded keys like some bizarre ornament. And every time we looked, it still said 'Pregnant'

A and I both had to work today and whilst I can't speak for A, I certainly went about my day as if in a complete daze. How much I wanted to tell everybody I saw that I was pregnant; that A and I are having a baby.  But we decided a while back that we weren't going to tell anybody before we got to 10 weeks, and so any time somebody asked me today why I was so happy, I'd smile and reply that I'd had a good breakfast and all was right with the world.

next step is getting an appointment at the health centre on Friday.

! ! !

There are no words

From the time I first started posting, I have probably spent hours planning the mega post that this would be. Instead, I realise two things:

1)

Allowing for picture quality - Ansel Adams, I ain't - does the second line seem a little faint? Does it count, do you think? This was taken at four minutes but I guarantee it's no different to when the timer went off - which is salient to the next point.

and 2) There are no words to describe how we're feeling right now.  We tested yesterday and there was no line - not a speck. And then I don't know why, maybe because my bust was just so damn sore at this point, but we ended up testing again this morning. Thank Goddess I didn't join A in having a glass of wine with dinner last night! It's so exciting to see the result box filled with something and yet, we're not sure if we can trust it. What if it's a dud? How can it go from nothing to this? There is one thing that gives us hope that this is the real deal though - yesterday, I was half asleep but A assures me I got up to pee at 3.  What we tested with two hours later wasn't the first of the day, so maybe it's just really early. We'll be retesting tomorrow with a branded test stick. Until then, we were just too excited not to post this.

Everything crossed! And if we were lucky this month, hoping that our luck makes it to everyone else on this babymaking rollercoaster - you guys are awesome!

Here's hoping...

Eeurgh! Bad taste, bad taste. I don't know if it was the smell of scrambled eggs/ greasy chicken/ fish oil interacting with a tummy bug (not all at once, obv.) or if this is a serious contender for the tell-tale symptom, but something sent me racing for the bathroom last night and again this morning. It started with a bad taste in my mouth - somewhere between pennies and dentist's glove - and I tried to neutralise it by snacking on bread w. balsamic vinegar (can't get enough of the stuff at the moment, so it's always in the house) and that seemed to help.

By bedtime, my tummy was roiling and I'd reached that point where I was wishing I could just throw up so that I would have the chance to settle for the night.  It was the smell in the kitchen that finally got to me and I felt at least some relief as I hurled myself into the bathroom.  The same kind of thing happened this morning.

I've found it's easier to deal with if I sit with a cup of tea for a few minutes to let my stomach settle before I put anything in it. I know it's not helping my caffeine intake but if it's enough to keep me functional then we'll go with it.

Symptom Chasing

Well, we're well into the second week now; and so far, there have been no symptoms that can't be attributed to any of several external factors such as the flu-like bug that's currently rampaging through our full-time staff, hefting unwieldy 20k sacks of potatoes and moving delivery cages (the weight of which I will never admit to, anywhere A can find it) but who am I kidding? Anyone in the process of TTC can attest to how difficult it is not to attribute every twinge, craving and fluttering to the start of that miracle we've been hoping for - especially those of us who have time to kill and ready access to the internet. So here's another round of:

Google-that-symptom!


Kicking off with lower backache around day 22 (6 days post insem) This has been off and on since last week and is usually relived with a rolled up towel (in lieu of the support cushion that I keep meaning to order) or A's support wrap if I'm having an active day. It's possible that I've tugged on a cage/lifted something heavy with improper technique and pulled something; not sure if this ties in with how the ache comes and goes but I'm including it anyway.  According to the all-knowing internetz, it could be very early pms or implantation (and since I knew the possibility of these symptoms, I'm including psychosomatic reaction as well) 


Around this time also, I've noticed my stomach's a little more sensitive to bad odours.  If somebody forgets to open the plastic wrapping on the bananas for example, resulting in the unmistakeable smell of over-ripe, sweaty banana or if a hole has opened in the packaging of a particularly bloody chicken; smells that, whilst unpleasant, have never phased me before, are suddenly leaving me dry retching and moving away from the source as fast as my little legs will carry me.  Remembering that this could easily be  pms symptoms, the result of wishful thinking or my body's way of reacting to whatever bug is plaguing staff (also explaining the 24 hours of runny nose for no other apparent reason and rapid temperature changes.)  A quick Google search also turned up discussions about mild nausea resulting from hormone changes as early as conception.

And finally, in the last few days, I've been experiencing some breast tenderness (which is to say they feel like I've been hit with a football) which is yet another classic pms/early pregnancy symptom.

What's the story (morning glory)

Here we are again.  Another try on day 16 of my current cycle. The last one broke the day before mothers day and I'll admit there were some sensitive moments over that weekend.  The last couple weeks have been pretty tense on account of one of my rare anxiety attacks - triggered by work stuff I wont go into here.  The long and the short of it is that I'll be staying where I am for the foreseeable future.  This is why I haven't posted for a while.  That and that we've obviously had a lot of talking to do.

After long discussion (and much ice-cream) we've decided that we're ready for a change of scenery; and with that in mind, we've expanded on our plans for 'the Grand Venture.' The land in Peru is well and truly ours now and features a smart new security fence thanks to A's father and her younger brother.  We're currently putting together plans for the first floor and getting estimates for building work which hopefully should begin towards the end of the year (late spring in Peru) but it will be a while before we have finished all we need to do in Europe and are ready to move on.

In the interim period, we have decided that we would like to get onto the property market in Spain - most likely the southern coast - whilst there are still bargain prices to be found.  We want to do this for a number of reasons, the main ones being for the change in lifestyle and as an investment opportunity (maybe for funding or as a source of income) when we do eventually move to Peru.  We estimate it will take us a year to build up the cash for our deposit and the various necessities of purchasing (taking into account the other ventures money is being set aside for) and in the mean time we are researching locations, with Almeria being our current favourite.

We haven't come up with an appropriate project name for this try yet (just something we've taken to entertaining ourselves with) but the summary so far is that we discovered it was time last night, when we were out celebrating my birthday. I turned 29 on Friday but between shift changes and wanting to spend more time with A, Saturday night was the only time this week we could do it.  We went to a local restaurant with a couple of close friends and then on to a local gay bar that A and I favour (although that might change now that it no longer serves cocktails) During a stop to freshen up, I spotted ewcm and as soon as I got back to the table, signalled in code to R that he would be needed ASAP.  It was a little amusing trying to get the message across without alerting anyone else at the table (Though one significant glance at A and she figured out what I was trying to say. Eventually she pulled R away on a pretence to fill him in)  Thankfully, R and I are both working this evening and had time to do what we needed to this morning.