Preconception Consultation 2 - Let's talk ttc!

Another day, another visit to Dr.D.

She asked how everything had gone over the last week and we told her that I had been a little emotional for a few days, but that we were ready to continue in our efforts towards trying to get me pregnant.

*Let's charge that mountain!*

She started going over the potential impact of PCO on my future health but once she asked us if we had done any research and I gave her the essay worth of memorised material, she just touched on the basics, asking us to let her know if we weren't sure of something. I guess in this way, A and I have always been pro-active health-wise; we get a diagnosis, we go look for information.

We covered that for best fertility results, as well as managing PCO symptoms, I should probably get a little closer to my ideal weight. I've never been a big girl - my 5'2 frame makes it harder to hide extra pounds - but I have put on weight since I moved to be with A. I'm currently 4.5 kilos over my ideal weight. I think my new (attempt at a) low-GI diet may help that, and I'm looking towards re-joining the gym.

The next point we covered was Dr.D's recommendations for managing PCOS whilst ttc-ing.  She suggested metformin, which is an anti-diabetic drug that works by suppressing the liver's glucose production. It is also used to treat potential insulin resistance linked to PCO. I'm currently researching contraindications, side effects and cost but we think this is likely our next step.

The next step also involves confirming whether Annie and Sally will meet Harry in his fresh or frozen state. We have been checking out sperm banks as a back up to our current potential k/d and have been pretty interested in one donor in particular, that has the same mix of ethnicities as A. Part of me gets warm and (dare I admit it?) fuzzy inside at the thought that our baby might look a little like A, too. A also seems keen on a donor we are currently nicknaming 'the Viking,' on account of his height/build and hair/beard colour. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, though.

PC-Oh!

The flat is quiet today; I sit in the front room, checking my e-mails and A is studying in the office. It's been almost a week since I came home from the clinic with the test results and we still haven't spoken about it. I sometimes find myself wanting to say something about it to her and then stopping because I can't decide what it is I want to say. I know A doesn't like seeing me upset but I can't even get my head around the PCO and what it means for our ttc attempts, let alone verbalise how I'm feeling.

When I went for the test, I was kinda hoping that the ultrasound would show something - some reason to explain why I have such trouble with my cycles; something I can work with. I guess I mostly got what I wanted: an explanation, at least.  I know that PCO is a manageable condition, affecting an estimated* 5-10 women out of 100 in the UK and that it is possible for women with PCO to conceive. Still, I feel a little down when I think about how much harder this makes what we are trying to do.

We'll be setting up another appointment with Dr. D soon to figure out where we go from here. In the mean time, I've been spending a lot of time going through websites looking for information about PCO and reading other couple's stories about ttc with PCO. It's good for me to see that we are not alone in this. I'm still new to blogger but eventually, I'll figure out how to put up links for the sites I've been visiting, should anyone have an interest in finding more information/support for this condition.

*Estimated by Bupa, a private British healthcare organisation

One hand in my pocket...

I had a clinic appointment this afternoon. A had wanted to come with me to all our baby related appointments but she had to work today and I couldn't bear not knowing the result of last weeks scan, so we agreed that I would go to the clinic on my own.

I thought I had covered all the bases with my research. I was determined to take the mentality that if the doctor said it was PCO, it would just be an obstacle to conceiving not a barrier. I mean, I'm healthy, a decent weight, there are still eggs in my basket...

 When Doctor D confirmed the diagnosis, I felt a little strange - like I should be reacting to something but completely numb to it at the same time. Then she started talking about options. One of the first things she asked was how open we were to having A carry the baby. To put it mildly, A does not have an interest in being a biological mother. At some point, I started having this cascade of thoughts too fast to keep up with and I got a little overwhelmed, had a bit of a cry.

Then, as is my habit, I told myself to calm down, drew a line under this and asked the doctor what comes next in my most 'I have full control' voice (which may have come out a bit squeaky)
She explained that she had intended to look up for A and I where we stood with regards to fertility treatment funding on the NHS, but had forgotten. She promised that she would find out for us as soon as possible and call me and then we could take it from there.

On the walk home, every woman I passed - I'm not exaggerating here - was sporting a big pregnant belly, baby on hip or push chair. Realising that I was alone tonight and in the mood for some comfort food, I dropped into Tesco in search of ice-cream and that's where my phone chirruped to let me know I had a voice-mail  I hadn't even noticed it ringing.

Dr D was calling to let me know she had found some information about funding for same sex couples. Apparently, the NHS will fund single mothers but not same-sex couples.

I feel gutted, at this point. I know the UK has some way to go before it can be recognised for liberal thinking, but I've always had some faith in the way this country is run: that it's been working towards a fair state. We spend thousands of pounds on welfare, funding for new creative voices, encouraging more people to follow their dreams into education. This is partially what my taxes pay for and I'm proud of it. Today the NHS has let me down. And right now, I don't know if I can forgive them for that.

Preconception checkup

I have always had more interest than A in being a biological mother, so there was no difficulty in deciding which of us would carry baby (aka 'Felix'). However, I did have concerns over how easy it would be for me to conceive, on account of my irregular cycles.

In September, we set up a consultation at our local health centre to see where we stood preconception.  Dr D ordered some very basic blood tests: thyroid, iron, FSH, etc. She speculated that I may be a little anaemic.

At the following visit, roughly a month later, Dr D showed us the readings taken and whilst my thyroid and iron results came back normal, my hormone levels indicated that I had not ovulated that cycle. No biggie, I thought, lots of women don't ovulate every cycle. The doctor, on the other hand, explained that based on my blood work and what I had described of my cycles, she would like to order an ultrasound to see if I have polycystic ovaries (PCO)

Doctor D has become our first point of call for fertility related appointments and so far, our experiences as a soon-to-be ttc same-sex couple have been pretty positive. Whilst she seemed a little hesitant with her vocabulary in regards to A and I at first, she was more comfortable in following appointments.  At our last appointment she actually said that whilst she wasn't sure where we stood in regard to fertility treatments on the NHS as a same sex couple, she would be looking into it before our next appointment.

About Us

The usual story: we met when I was studying at uni, exchanged emails, did the long distance thing, broke up, got back together (rinse and repeat) got a flat together, got engaged and settled down to pre-marital bliss. There was just one thing missing to make this old fashioned romance complete. In the summer of 2012, we began talking seriously about starting a family.

This blog is meant as a record of our journey to parenthood, no doubt with plenty of venting along the way.